Anyway you were there for two nights last week. The second night I saw you and Jesse both. This isn't the first time I've dreamed about you since we fell apart. In the other dreams you have been wild, raging, weeping, unhinged. Like a hurricane in the body of a person. Last week you were calmer, and you spoke to me, and we talked to each other a while.
One of the things I told you in the dream is something I had been thinking about in real life. I saw a new picture of you the other day, on your Facebook wall. I know we're not friends anymore but I go to look at your page once in a while. Maybe you do the same thing and can understand why I do it. Maybe you just think I'm a creepy stalker.
Anyway I saw this picture of you in a photo booth with some other folks. My eyes went right to you. They still do. And the words in my head immediately were "you're beautiful."
I don't say that to try to give you a gift. You don't belong to me and never did and what I say about seeing your picture has nothing to do with who believe and know yourself to be.
I just wanted you to know that it's still the first thing I think, when I see you.
I miss you so much. I wish we could talk to each other like we did in my dream. Until then I will talk to you here and hope the unlikely hope that you will someday find these words.
No comments:
Post a Comment