the ghost ship that didn't carry us

"I’ll never know and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore."

This is from a "Dear Sugar" column. The column is about whether or not this couple should have children. It is not a good analogue for what happened for us. But those last few sentences are awfully, awfully true. 

I don't know if you ever read that column. I found it when I was losing you, and for that, and for so many other reasons, it reminds me of you so much. It reminds me of the way you are with the people you love, raw and deep and honest, fierce and tender. She reminds me so much of you.

http://therumpus.net/2011/04/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-71-the-ghost-ship-that-didnt-carry-us/